day by day

Another season of change.

2012-01-25T03:08:00.000-08:00

I remember my friend Keri complaining about people leaving her. How she always felt like the one left behind instead of the one leaving. Lucky for me, I've never really experienced that. We've always been one of the first ones to leave or were waiting to leave when people started PCS-ing. I thought Hawaii was going to be another one of those experiences. I certainly wouldn't choose to leave Hawaii right now but I had mentally prepared myself when we first got here to only stay for 2 years. Although, I miss family and friends from the mainland terribly and wish my baby could grow up surrounded by them...I was happy when I found out there was the possibility of staying. But when I got up for my routine bathroom break at midnight, I realized that soon everyone here will be leaving me!

Everyone knows how hard it is for me to figure things out every time we move. I can't find a place where I belong or true friends to hang out with. It was especially hard this time living so far from post and having Shiggy deploy soon after getting here. My friend Marissa really helped me get out of the house and explore the island. In fact, I probably did 75% of my exploring with her in the first 6 months of living here. She's leaving in 3 weeks! She was one of the first people on the island I told about the baby and she won't be here when the baby's born.

I have another close friend who just found out she also might be leaving soon. I always knew Marissa would leave soon after redeployment, but this other one came as a shock. We thought she was going to be here for another year. No orders have been cut yet but it's looking pretty good that she'll be leaving this summer. Then we thought, at least she'll be here when the baby's born. But now even that might not be a possibility.

At the same time that news came about, another friend told me they might be leaving this fall. This is my core group and they're all leaving me as I start this new chapter in my life. Now I know it's horribly selfish of me to want them all to stay and they have bigger and better things coming up for them but still... I'm just sad.

Luckily I have one friend who said she will be staying here forever, at least that's what they're hoping for. It's hard knowing that in the next 2 years I'll see all the people we moved here with leaving one by one. But it's amazing that I get to meet people from all over the world and although we have to say "see ya later" for now, you know there's always a chance you'll get to see them again at another duty station. Ahh...the army life...

Man I'm gonna have my hands full...

2012-01-16T13:40:00.000-08:00

So it's a boy! We're pretty excited. I really would have been happy either way. Shiggy wanted the first one to be a boy but he had already gotten accustomed to the idea that it might be a girl and he'd have to teach her all kinds of martial arts to keep the boys at bay. My dad's excited because it will bring the grandchildren count to 5 girls and 4 boys. But knowing the kind of child Shiggy was scares the crap out of me. It will certainly be interesting. I'm trying to get the dogs prepared.

It looks like we have a really good chance of staying in Hawaii for a little while longer with no deployments. But nothing's official yet so we're just playing the waiting game for now. I know we'll feel blessed enough just having a little boy and having his daddy here for the birth. Anything else would just be extra!

I think I'm going to have to go facebook official soon. I was going to keep this pregnancy off facebook, not because it's a secret or anything, just because I feel weird posting something like this on facebook. But in this day and age when almost all communication with long-distance friends and family are through facebook or blogs, it's hard to keep it off there completely. And of course everyone wants to see the dreaded belly pictures. At least now, it's starting to look more like a pregnant belly and less like I need to stop eating girl scout cookies. It's also weird how much bigger your stomach looks and feels when you're looking down at it rather than in a profile picture.

I've started to feel little baby kicks. I try to agitate him daily for my own peace of mind. It's still only a few times a day and I feel like he's mostly kicking my bladder. Shiggy's only felt it once. I find it really weird that I can feel it from the inside but we can't feel it from the outside.

My friend Jordan is going nuts with baby shower planning. She keeps asking if I've registered, picked out a name or picked a theme yet. She also sends me links about names, strollers, car seats, etc. I'm feeling like I might disappoint her with my sad little list of friends to invite. She's funny. I really appreciate her excitement.

Now that the anatomy scan is over, I feel like there's nothing to look forward to until the actual birth. Which still seems soo far away. It's probably a good thing because the conversion of the office into a nursery has not begun and so far the baby has a winnie the pooh blanket that I bought 4 years ago when it was on clearance at Target...and some clothes I bought for other people's babies but never sent out... I'll get there eventually.

Is everything ok in there?

2012-01-07T09:46:00.000-08:00

I have to say I've been getting more and more anxious waiting for the next ultrasound. The "what if's" have been piling on hard. It doesn't help that I've barely felt any movement going on in there. I haven't bought a single baby item and went to Babies R Us once only to run out panic stricken. It's still relatively early so I don't really have to worry about that stuff yet.

I found out yesterday that I have an anterior placenta which explains the lack of movement I'm feeling when in reality the baby likes to tap dance all around. The ultrasound tech kept asking me if I could feel that and acted surprised when I said I couldn't. You just told me I probably wouldn't! Why are you surprised? I don't care. I'm just glad everything looked good. We're up to 12 oz with a heart rate of 150.

We're telling our families the sex today. It's my mom's birthday so I figured it would be a nice present. We discussed it over and over again and decided we could wait a day to tell people. Well imagine my surprise when someone texts me and asks if he can tell one of his friends. I told him absolutely no one was to find out until we talked to our families. This was also our friend who outed the pregnancy in the first place. Wait a second...did he already blab? He had to come clean and give me a list of people whom he already told or might have "overheard" as he was screaming it out. It bothered me because some of these people I don't even know and I had considered talking to him about not telling anyone for just a little while longer. I would have at least like to tell some family and friends before he blabbed to random co-workers. But how can I be mad that my husband is so excited about having a baby that he can't keep his mouth shut. I'm actually surprised now that he was able to keep the pregnancy to himself for 3 months. And in the end, it doesn't matter who found out what first.

Now I have to deal with a dog who's vomiting blood. Poor Denny. Every time he feels sick he'll let me know and try to get outside. Since I don't like to wake up in the middle of the night to let him out, sometimes I ignore him. It's never a good idea. It's also never a good idea to walk around in the dark when there's the possibility that there's vomit on the floor somewhere. Hopefully I can get him to eat in a few hours and all we be good again.

We're halfway there. For now I just have to continue impatiently waiting for both the baby and my Girl Scout cookies to get here.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T13:24:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! I'm just chilling by myself right now so I figure I'd break my rule of only blogging once every 3-4 months again. I'm very grateful that my husband is home for Christmas this year. He volunteered for staff duty today since most people either went home or have family visiting and it's just us so we can delay our Christmas festivities. His plan is to pop in and out until his shift is over at 5. He came home for breakfast and we opened gifts. He definitely went overboard this year. I told him to choose something from my amazon wish list that I really just keep for myself and he bought almost everything off it. Someone will have to remind me to trim the list down to 1 or 2 items before he looks at it next year. Although I have a feeling I will be completely overlooked next Christmas which is definitely ok with me.

I tried to get a Christmas picture to post here since he had to wear his blues today but it didn't quite turn out. He looked pretty spiffy but me with no makeup, having not brushed my hair and looking unusual large. It was not quite the look I was going for and there was no time to fix it.

The cat is almost completely out of the bag about our little blessing to come. I find after 3 months of keeping it secret, it's really hard to just let it go. Sometimes I forget that there are people who know. I also realized when my parents asked me who Shiggy was that I probably should have kept the "Shiggy/Tim" in our Christmas card. Now I will have a poor illegitimate child with an identity crisis.

I find the more people who know, the more anxious I get so I almost wish we kept it as our own little secret. I'm not quite at the excited phase yet just because I seem to spend most of my time worrying. Maybe if I give it a couple more weeks. I know I have a bunch of wonderful people who have been praying for us and continue to pray for us.

Now I'm just waiting for our Christmas dinner date at 9PM. I could say we're going out that late because we're young, hip and cool but in reality all the restaurants are booked up for Christmas. I'm just hoping we can both stay awake until then.

As this year starts winding down, I am so grateful for all the blessings that have been bestowed upon us. We have great friends and family. My husband made it home through another deployment and hopefully will not be deploying again anytime soon. We're ready for our next great adventure!

Happy Birthday, Jesus and thank you for making it possible for us to have a Merry Christmas!

A time of reflection...

2011-12-16T10:39:00.000-08:00

It's been kind of a rough week for me. My cousin passed away a few days ago and it has me stuck in a tunnel of emotions. She was a distant cousin, who was quite a bit older than me. Honestly, we were never close. She tormented me when I was little with comments about my weight, acne, and just about anything you can make a young girl cry with. She wasn't trying to be mean. It's just the Chinese way.

She was one of those people that I saw almost every time I went home, usually at some kind of family function. I had no idea she had beaten cancer once only for it to come back. She and her husband have 2 daughters. One of the girls is a senior in high school and her older sister is a freshman in college. Not that there's ever a good time, but what an absolutely awful time to lose your mom.

It brings back a flood of memories for me. That's about the age that I found out my mom had cancer. I was away at college and my family was able to hide it from me for a few months. They finally decided to tell me because they figured I'd notice that mom had no hair when I came home for Christmas break. They even tried to convince me that it wasn't cancer, they were just trying to treat her condition aggressively with chemotherapy. Going back to school after that break was really hard. But God decided that it wasn't her time to go. I can't imagine what those girls are going through.

Then I thought about my uncle. He passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack in his 40's also about this time 10 years ago. I remember I took a break from my finals to go to his funeral. He has 3 beautiful girls and a handsome boy. They adored him and things were difficult without him. I think it's part of the reason my cousin has put off marrying her boyfriend of 12 years.

I don't think my cousin's family believes in God at all but I just hope they can still feel his comfort through their anger and sadness. I don't know how you get through these times without God. I hope those girls remember and cherish every single one of their memories of their mom, even when she was yelling at them to only drink skim milk so they don't get fat. It's funny, when I was younger I took a lot of offense to what she said to me. Now I know it was her way of showing love and concern. Please pray for the Chung family.

A Final Ultimatum

2011-11-22T10:23:00.004-08:00

It seems my laziness and lack of motivation has been spiraling out of control. I can't seem to get the little things done let alone the big things that are really taking it's toll on us. So I was offered a final ultimatum. Shape up or I'm canceling the cable and internet!

My immediate response was to defend myself. When I found that I didn't have a leg to stand on, I decided to go with the silent treatment. Five minutes later I had to admit, he might be right. Ok, this might be the kick in the pants I've been needing. Sad, that we have to start with that as my motivation instead of the fact that if I actually did "my job" there would be a lot less stress for us.

So I told him to give me until the week after Thanksgiving. This week I am hosting 12 people at our house for Thanksgiving and no matter how motivated I am, there is no way I can prep for that and get to my huge "to do" list.

Along with canceling the cable and internet, he also wants to get rid of the XBox because he feels like he would also benefit from less idle time. That makes me feel really bad because he works at least 14 hours a day and goes in on most weekends so he definitely deserves that hour a day to just relax.

So now I just have to get through this week and organize a plan of attack for next week. This is definitely a good thing because I don't think I have any inward motivation. Time to turn things around!

Rain, rain, go away...

2011-11-10T13:02:00.001-08:00

I know no one has any pity for me. It's been raining for a week now but I still live in Hawaii and I'm still wearing shorts and flip flops. But it's just really dragging me down. When we lived in Kapolei, it hardly ever rained. In fact, you prayed for rain because it was so hot and dry. Now, it rains every single morning and for the past week it's been raining throughout the day as well. It's just so dreary outside. The dogs are going crazy and every time they go outside to potty I have to mop the floors...again.

And I miss the change of seasons. It has snowed at least once every where we've ever lived. It's great not to have to change your clothes out or freeze your butt off for a whole season but I don't like that I have to blast the air conditioner to truly enjoy some soup or stew.

Maybe I'm just losing it. I've become a bit of a hermit since we moved on post. I told myself I'd go to the gym classes all the time but I've only been once in the past 2 months. I stopped walking the dogs because I hate walking in the rain by myself and then smelling like wet dog for the rest of the day. We're closer to the commissary than we've ever been before and it's a battle just to get groceries every week.

I am looking forward to Thanksgiving. We're having it at our house this year. But as it gets closer I'm starting to get a little stressed out because I realize how much there is to do and how lazy I've gotten. We're not even fully unpacked yet.

Hopefully the sun will come out soon and this mood will pass. Surf competitions start this weekend which I'm pretty excited about. I just need to get out of this house!

A long overdue post.

2011-10-27T11:44:00.000-07:00

Wow it's been a while. I am a horrible blogger even though I stalk everyone else's blog on a daily basis hoping they've updated. On a day to day basis I feel like there's not much going on with me but when I realize how long it's been since I last posted, there's been a ton of new stuff.

I can't believe my husband's been home for 4 months now. It's been great having him home but I have had to make a few adjustments. The hardest thing for me so far...deciding what to make for dinner. After a year of living by yourself, you get used to eating whatever and whenever you want. If I planned a meal and just didn't feel like making it, cereal was alway a suitable option. Unfortunately my husband doesn't have that same love for cereal or random snacks. He also wants to eat healthier which rules out a lot of my cheesy/creamy dishes...the best kind in my opinion. He also thinks I spend way too much time and energy trying to make dinner. He can just throw stuff in a pot and make it taste good...I can't!

The next big adjustment, sleeping arrangements. I always get used to sleeping in the middle of the bed during deployments. It's hard for me to stick to one side of the bed for the whole night. We moved on post about a month ago and now things are even more wonky because we ended up switching sides. Every night he tries to push me off the bed. I think he's trying to get back to his side. I offered to switch back but he doesn't want to. Hopefully we resolve this soon because we're both exhausted from trying to eject each other from the bed every night.

So we're on post now. I put our names on the list in March and we came up for a house in June. We decided not to take that house since it was redeployment month and my in-laws were coming in July. We got another call in July for an opening in September. We decided we would just stay put. We don't know where we'll be 6 months from and an extra move just seemed unappealing to both of us. Right before I was supposed to decline the house and a few late night phone calls and trips to post in the middle of the night later, it was decided at least at this point in his career it is best for us to be as close to the MP station, I mean post, as possible.

In September we made the move and it was definitely a wise decision. Instead of a 30-60 min drive to post (depending on traffic), we live 2 miles from his office. I've been able to bring him dinner on late nights and taking care of problems is not nearly as time-consuming. I started hula lessons which was very short lived. I am not coordinated enough to move my hands and feet in opposite directions at the same time. I've been taking ukelele lessons for the past 5 weeks. Cooking classes are offered at our community center twice a month. This Saturday I'll be starting basic cake decorating. I'm hoping to do hand quilting in the spring. I'm back to my plethora of useless activities.

I've resigned myself to the fact that despite my struggles to get my Hawaii pharmacy license, I will probably never use it. It's been much harder to find job openings than I thought it would be. I was thinking I could always work for a temp agency or find something part-time but apparently no one wants me. That's fine...I'll just enjoy the rest of my time in Hawaii.

I started the Bible study "The Excellent Wife" at PWOC. Notice, it's not the excellent housewife. It's been a really good study. Although I don't necessarily agree with everything she says, for the most part it's been pretty eye opening. Over the course of 2 months I learned that I'm a horrible wife. I've also learned that my husband is a wonderful husband. Stings a little to have to admit that he's better than me but it's true and it's something I have to work on. When I hear the complaints of other women, I realize how lucky I am and how considerate he actually is. Then I realized that over the course of our marriage I've become more selfish and less considerate of him. Whenever I get aggravated with him the first thought that comes to my mind is that he takes me for granted. In reality, I'm the one who takes him for granted. I'll probably never be an excellent wife but at least I can strive to be a more Godly one.

The dogs are doing great in their new home. They have dog friends that come over every day to see if they want to come out and play. Unfortunately we also have a few neighborhood kids that will aim their bows and arrows at them if they think I'm not looking. I'm glad that they're all supposed to be supervised by their parents so the minute any of their "toys" make contact with my dogs, I can call the MP's. And they actually come and drag the kids back to their houses.

That's about all the updates I have. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas. Even though I miss my family a lot, at least I get to have my husband home this year!

Feeling like a human being again!

2011-01-10T15:51:00.001-08:00

I no longer feel like I'm on house arrest. This week was the beginning of getting back into a routine. I got a little depressed last week when the doctor felt like my nerve pain might be permanent. I tried a new med and I think it's actually working. I don't feel so much pain as I do tingling and irritation. I'm no longer a druggie!

I started running(slow jogging) again. I'm sad because I was up to 5 miles and now I'm down to 1.5 miles. I have to get up to 8 in a month. I wanted to run the full 8 miles but I guess I can walk some of it if I have to. I'm trying to get into the routine of walking the dogs. I love my dogs but I hate walking them. They drive me insane when they know it's time for a walk. Then they go nuts when I try to put their leashes on. And now they know where every dog in our neighborhood lives and want to visit all of them...even the growling pitbulls. So I'm trying to walk them at least a mile a day and then running Scout a mile 3 times a week. It would be so much easier if they were good dogs and I could just bring them on my runs.

We had a brigade function to signify the half-way mark last week. Part of this was the Biggest Loser Contest....just within our brigade of course. I didn't sign up for the competition but I did take their health assessment. My weight was actually lower than I've seen it in a while since I lost so much muscle weight while I was sick. Blood pressure good. Resting heart rate good. Then we did the "how much fat are you carrying around" test. He did the measurement and it was a little higher than I expected but still within normal limits. He tells me that I'm still within the average. Then he asked me if I was happy with just being within the average or if maybe I thought I could lose some weight. "We" decided I could lose about 8 lbs which turned into 10 lbs this week...what can I say, I love my food! Hopefully once I get back into running I won't have to change too much. I might have to pick up some healthy snacks this week.

Well this led me to weighing Scout. Since we moved here I've had 3 vets tell me that she's overweight. I could tell she was overweight but it didn't seem too bad. I tried 2 kinds of diet foods, both of which she was allergic to. I knew I needed to exercise both of them more but let's face it...I'm a little lazy. I can't even use the excuse that I'm busy anymore. I'm just plain lazy. While I was looking for pictures to put in our Christmas card, I ran across pictures of Scout when we first got here and she was already a little overweight. Ok...my baby girl got fat! I weighed her on the scale...let's just say she's supposed to be 55 lbs. She was 75 lbs! I felt awful that I let her get so out of shape. I cut back her food months ago but that hasn't made a difference instead she eats grass, flowers, garbage, anything she can get into. So the plan is to walk them every day, run her 3 times a week and bring them on a hike at least once a month. Hopefully we'll both reach our goal.

I also got to go surfing last week. It was awesome! I was a little scared at first because it's been almost 2 months and the waves were bigger than I've ever surfed on. Still really really small but looked ginormous to me. Usually I can stay out for 1.5 hours before taking a break. I returned my board after 40 minutes. I was a little embarrassed. The rental guys was like "seriously? you didn't even have it out for an hour!" Hopefully I can build those muscles back up as well.

My next milestone...Shiggy should be home for R&R in just over a month. It that isn't motivation to get my butt in gear, I don't know what is. Now if I could just get my act together...

All better yet the pain lingers...

2011-01-05T13:47:00.000-08:00

Well I'm done with the shingles. The active part at least. Unfortunately the pain has chosen to remain. It didn't seem so bad at first, just a little annoying. But then my first night without pain meds began and it was awful. I didn't ask my doctor for any meds yesterday because it didn't seem like they were working anyways. Boy was I wrong. They may not have alleviated the pain completely but apparently dulled the pain down to a tolerable point i.e. sleeping 2 hours at a time instead of 15 mins at a time. I felt like a druggie calling the doctor to try to refill my prescription only to be treated like a druggie by the receptionist who obviously did not believe I was in pain. It didn't matter, the doctor's not in today anyways.

We're giving a new drug a try but it'll be 2 weeks before I can tell if it's working or not. If not I get to go see a neurologist. Too soon to tell if this is temporary or will be permanent. The worse part is that Shiggy comes home for R&R soon and I have to decide if I can tolerate being off the meds for a month for the chance at getting pregnant or if we should just wait.

My running has come to a halt. I'm supposed to be doing an 8 mile run in February but since I can't even walk the dogs without pain, I'm not sure how the running is gonna go. I might try it out tonight and just try to work through it. There's also no point in me buying a surf board anymore. It's getting very depressing around here. My friend volunteered to throw me a birthday party but she was a little sad by my lack of enthusiasm. I don't mind getting older, but every birthday is becoming a reminder of each year we've been trying to conceive. If you don't include deployments it will be 2, if you include the deployments it's 3.5.

For now I'm just going to concentrate on studying for the boards and slowly getting the house together. I'm not as bad off as I make it seem. I'm just mentally and physically exhausted and ready for a change.

Nothing but time on my hands!

2010-12-18T14:43:00.000-08:00

This has been an interesting week. It started out with a 4.5 mile run on Sunday which resulted in chafing under my arms. Apparently I don't have proper arm placement when I run. I took what I thought would be the most painful shower of my life. I don't know if you've ever tried to wash your hair without getting your arms wet...it's just not possible...

On Monday, I went on a 2 hour hike that turned into a 3-3.5 hour hike when we lost a dog. We ended up having to leave the dog behind. Luckily he was quickly found and returned to his owner by the next day. But the stress of that day might very well be the reason for the following days.

Tuesday was another run day. It was just a 2.5 mile run and I was able to keep my arms out the whole time. But for some reason on Wednesday I started getting that prickly sensation of chafing again but with no rash. I thought maybe I had brushed up against a poisonous plant during the hike. The pain got worse on Thursday. Then I started getting chest pains and shooting pains down my left arm. I tried heart burn medication, asthma medication, and motrin. I even tried to make my house presentable just in case I had to call 911 in the middle of the night.

I woke up on Friday morning with the same pain but a little more intense and had a panic attack. I don't know what happened but before I knew it, I was crying and couldn't catch my breath. I was able to calm myself down and had to wait for the doctor's office to open. He checked for heart problems and muscle involvement. Then we found the rash. A tiny rash the size of a dime under my arm that looked exactly like the chafing I had earlier in the week. That's when he tentatively diagnosed me with shingles. I was skeptical at first but over the course of the day the burning sensation spread and got worse. Now the rash has spread across the left side of my chest. I guess the nerve fibers involved are the ones that stretch over my heart and go down my arm. So every time the pain flairs up it feels like I'm having a heart attack. And I thought I wasn't getting any Christmas presents this year...

I had to cancel all my plans for the week and it looks like I'm going to have a lot of time to myself. Other than the burning pain, I'm perfectly fine but the doctor doesn't want me to do any kind of physical activity for at least a week. I'm also self-quarantining myself. Although shingles is not contagious, there's a very slim chance I could pass the chicken pox virus onto people who have never had it before. I would feel awful if I gave a baby chicken pox.

So for now I'm just stuck at home with burning sensations that come and go as they please. Here's to the pain subsiding for long enough for me to do anything productive!

The ups and downs...

2010-09-27T22:24:00.000-07:00

It's been a while. A lot has happened since I last posted. I had a wonderful time on my family trip. Spending 24/7 with my family members was exhausting but definitely worth it. Sharing a room with a 6 and 7 year old was also an interesting experience. Little sleep was had on this trip but memories to last a lifetime were formed. As soon as I can find the adapter to upload my pictures, I'll get on that. I have a new bond with my nieces that we've kept going with the help of Skype.

Then it was back to reality. As much as I enjoyed sleeping in my own bed without monkeys jumping on me, it was really lonely to be home. We had 2 casualties while I was on my trip. It was hard to come back to that as well. So the weeks afterwards I was determine to keep myself busy.

I've applied to get my pharmacist license here. I'm still waiting for a date to take the test. I joined the Spouse's Club and many of the clubs within it. I went swimming with the dolphins, eagle rays, and about a million fish. Went on an awesome hike and finally stood up on a surfboard by myself.

The hubby took command and I was moved into a new battalion. The transition didn't go as I had hoped, but we'll see how it ends up. I care too much about what people think but no matter how hard I try not to...it just happens. Like a little kid, my feelings always get hurt. As soon as I joined the battalion we had 9 more casualties, 2 KIA and 7 wounded. Of course they were the first ones right after a certain speech was given so the notification process was hampered. It was just an awful situation. The memorials are this week.

I was offered a job and within days the offer was taken back. I just took a blood test to see if maybe there's a simple solution to our problem with starting a family. Still waiting on the results. I just feel like as soon as something good happens, something bad immediately follows. I just don't know what to do with myself these days. The good news of the week...we're a quarter of the way through this deployment...

Sometimes you're just amazed.

2010-08-09T12:41:00.000-07:00

A few days after I wrote my last post, I went to PWOC and almost started laughing. We've been doing a Beth Moore study. For the first few weeks I didn't feel like any of it pertained to me. Slowly as the weeks went by, little things would pop up and make me think. But this last week was written just for me.

The study is about the Psalms of Ascent and taking the next step in your journey. The last session was titled My Hope Is in the Lord. It was about being effective to fellow travellers on the path. It reminds you to forgive one another, encourage each other and to love deeply. Then she said, if you can't love deeply you're going to say "fine" to everyone who asks you "How are you?" Then she asks if anyone has ever done that before. It just reminded me that while I struggle on my journey I need to make sure I take a quick glance around to make sure no one else is stranded.

I had the chance to experience some more Hawaiian adventures this past week. Took a break from the snorkeling and boogie boarding. This past weekend we headed out to find the Black Pearl from Pirates of the Carribean. They've been filming here and on one of the other islands. The ship has slowly made it around the island and they just wrapped up the filming on Sunday. Unfortunately, I was not enough of a fan to wait there all day to catch a glimpse of Johnny Depp. But we met many people who were able to shake his hand, take pictures and have conversations with him. I guess he's a pretty good guy. Got some pictures of the ship. They were doing stunt work and smaller scenes when we got there. I thought it was pretty neat!

Sunday was supposed to be a stay at home and do everything you've been putting off kind of day. Instead I left my house at 8:45AM and came home at 11PM. I've been going up to North Shore to partake in the farmer's market every Sunday after church. This week is a short week where minimal groceries are needed so I decided not to go. But a friend enticed me with promises of laying out on her "private beach" (it's not nearly as private as she thinks it is). So we went to the market, grabbed lunch and laid out on the beach. I tried to swim a little but the water made me shiver. A few hours later, some of the girls had to leave and we started talking about hiking. My goal is to do one new hike a month and try to visit as many beaches on the island as I can. Jennifer told me she'd be glad to join my adventure club. Then she told me about this hike she did with her husband while looking for fresh dirt for his garden. The more she told me, the more excited about it she got. At about 5PM we decided we should just go for it. So I threw on a pair of her shorts and a pair of sneakers one and a half sizes too big and started off.

What she failed to inform me was that you had to go off-roading to get to the start of the trail. I envisioned driving over to a trailhead, walking up, taking pictures and coming back down in time for dinner. What I got was much more adventurous and I had a blast. We did about 20 mins of off-roading which was approximately 1.5 miles. It made it crazier that she just learned how to drive stick! We walked up the easy part of the trail, saw a gorgeous view of the ocean and mountains and realized that we weren't satisfied. We climbed up some rocks made it to several old bunkers and then I found out I am terrified of heights. As the wind blew and an airplane flew next to us, I started to panic a little. Going up was much easier than going back down.

I lost my inhaler, but it's not a good hike unless you loose something important. At least this time I made it to the top. We could have gone up further but daylight was fading fast and off-roading in the dark with the ocean next to you is probably not a good idea. We ran back to the Jeep and got out as the sun was setting. We would have made the perfect Jeep commerical!

Today I hurt and have tons of chores to do but I had to get one last adventure in before heading back to the mainland for a few days. I get to see my entire family (parents, brothers, sister-in laws, nieces and nephews) in a few more days. I'm just sad Tim won't be there. It's going to be an exhausting vacation but I will probably fill up my story books for the year.

I'm good...

2010-07-26T13:30:00.000-07:00

For the first time since we moved here, I feel good. Most days I wake up with a crappy attitude and hope that I snap out of it. Last week at PWOC the topic was how has God been good to you. I honestly could not think of a single thing. Everyone was soo happy talking about the topic and going on and on and all I wanted to do was move onto the next topic. It's not that God hasn't been good to me. It's just that I've been soo caught up in myself and my own misery that I couldn't see past that.

Before I got here whenever someone asked how I was...I would say good. If I was questioned further because I looked like I hadn't showered or slept in days, I'd just say I was tired. Ever since we got here I've been overly honest. I think people got sick of asking me how I was because I would just dump on them. But today I woke up thinking...you know what God is good and he's blessed me with soo many things. Things won't always go my way but like a loving, patient parent....He lets me have my tantrums and hopes I learn something afterwards.

It's kind of weird. Today is no different than any other day. It's not like some miracle happened or my prayers have been answered. Although I know people have been praying for me, so if you've been praying for me...I'm here to tell you that this is God's answer.

I've been going to church and Bible studies thinking I'm not getting anything out of them! Why am I here? But I continued to go knowing that not attending could only make things worse. Suddenly, I'm sick of being selfish and only thinking of myself. I enjoy fellowship and am always on the lookout for someone who might be going through what I just went through.

So for right now, I'm good....I really am! Maybe I'll even start posting pictures on this thing or something. Ok, I won't get ahead of myself.

Sick of being a second-line friend....

2010-07-09T11:16:00.000-07:00

Not all friendships are established the same. They simply can't be! But lately I've been getting so sick of being a second or third-line friend. You know, the ones you call when all your good friends are busy. I can't say I have many second or third line friends. I have friends that I hang out with every day, once a week, once a month because that's what works for us. Heck, I talk to my best friend once a year and see her once every 2 years but she's still my best friend! But I need a go to person here. A person I can call at any time of the day and know they won't get mad. Someone whom I can just drop by on unannounced and know that they'll let me in their house even if it looks like a natural disaster occurred in it. I've got a bunch of those across the country but none here.

I have made some wonderful friends who's husbands are not deployed. But they actually have lives. They still look forward to weekends. I miss having days to look forward to. I didn't submit my spouse preference paperwork before submitting my resume so that throws me further down on the list of qualified applicants. Still haven't heard anything from them but if the 25th comes and goes that means the job is gone.

I went to a new Bible study on Wednesday. It seems promising although to be honest...I'm not much for studying the Bible these days. The ladies there were just so supportive of one another and it also reminded me that my issues are so trivial to other people's. It's funny because I guess I still think I'm 22. I've noticed that whenever I meet a group of people that are my age, my first thoughts are...these ladies are great but they're so much older than me. Then I find out that a lot of time, I'm one of the oldest ones there! I'm going to start lying about my age. My range will be 22 to 35...I just want to see which end of the spectrum is more believable.

It's been a month and my house is still a mess. It's in that stage where you can't tell if the person is moving in or moving out. I debate every day about whether or not I should move on post. The grass is always greener.... I just don't want to work myself up thinking that will solve all my problems. I did discover while making eggplant parmesan that along with not having a clock/timer on my oven, there is also no way to know when the oven is pre-heated. This is a brand new oven...I didn't know that was possible! Kind of sad that it took me 30 days to realize that...

I can't claim that my life is all that bad. After all, today is a beach day. Time to go lay out in the sun with a mediocre book (I've started reading the Shopaholic series). I've decided that every week requires at least one good beach day!

holding my breath...

2010-06-28T12:39:00.000-07:00

My meltdown has subsided for now. I went to a friend's BBQ on-post which made me want to live on post more than ever. Come on 2 living rooms in army housing? I digress, it was nice to hang out with people. These friends are in another brigade so their husbands are sticking around for another year. The funny part? This is the neighbor that lived across the street from me at Benning whom I ignored up until the last possible minute of them moving out. Her husband kept reminding us of how much fun we could have been having there had we both not decided to be anti-social hermits. And their daughter is absolutely adorable. Apparently she used to come and visit Denny and Scout whenever they were chilling in the backyard.

Today I'm spending the day with another person I met briefly at Benning. I didn't make very many friends while I was there but apparently I made a heck of a lot of connections. She's still staying at a hotel so I'm going to join her for some pool time, then some sushi and outlet shopping. Her husband is also in another unit so he's sticking around but when they move into their place they'll only be 15 mins away from me.

Now if only I could find some people who have husbands who are deployed. I love that the other couples try to include me in activities but I just need someone I can call at anytime and just say hey, I'm having a rough day...wanna go to the beach? Of course this also requires said person to be a lady of leisure. There is a serious lack of those women!

Tomorrow is PWOC. I've seriously been waiting for a meeting since we got here. I'm a little afraid that my expectations are too high but I'm just gonna put myself out there and see what happens. I've never actually made a friend through PWOC before so here's hoping for the best.

And the news I'm holding my breath about? No, I'm not pregnant. Life would be too easy if I didn't have to be poked, prodded and cut open for that to happen. I submitted my resume for a possibly non-existent job about 2 months ago. And according to the website, my resume was selected for review a few days ago. There is one federal job that opened up on Friday. So it's a long shot. Personally I think my resume looks pretty dang impressive with my inpatient skills but all it takes is for one veteran to knock me out of the running. It's also not very impressive that I've been unemployed for a year. So please pray that I accept whatever the outcome is.

Now, time to clean my house so when my friend stops by she isn't scared away by my clutter!

Should I stay or should I go?

2010-06-25T19:49:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows I've been having a really rough time here. It's only been a week since he left but I feel like it's been months. I finally left the house yesterday. I tried out Zumba and got some real food at the commissary. But all throughout Zumba I just kept thinking to myself...what am I doing here? I have no job, no family, no friends and no support system.

I've never been one to run home during deployments. I always figured, where ever you are that is where your life is now. I could understand going home with kids because it's nice to have babysitters who love your kids as much as you do and to have them spend some time with family. But I just don't know if I can make it here by myself.

The problem with going "home" is that it might not be an option either. I could easily go home and live with my parents but I don't have a NY license and therefore won't be able to work there. As much as I'd like to add 2 more licenses to my resume in a 2 year period and probably break the law because I can't remember which state I'm in, I'm going to have to pass. That leaves Colorado and Texas. I certainly wouldn't mind living in Colorado for a year. But it will be a pain in the butt to find a place that will allow the dogs and comes fully furnished. I probably won't be able to get a job on-post but I have my license there so it's not a big deal. Plus I still know people there.

Then there's Texas. I have a bunch friends there and a lot of their husbands are either deployed or deploying. One has already told me I can live with her until her hubby gets home. And my boss tells me I'm technically still employed. I've been on leave without pay for the past year and all I have to do is start working again.

I'm not even fully unpacked, the thought of moving again makes me sick. I know I need to give it time. I've just never been so miserable before and quite frankly it scares me. I've never felt this way before. I've stopped going to church. I can't even get myself to pray about it. I just need to know that at some point before 365 days passes, I'll feel normal again.

I don't know...I'm soo confused...

And it begins...again...

2010-06-21T18:10:00.000-07:00

It's been a tough couple of days. I've had a really negative attitude since we got here and no matter how hard I try, I just can't turn it around. Now I'm just starting to get angry.

My day started with me getting lost on the way to the eye doctor. Then the eye doctor tells me that she has concerns about the amount of pressure in my eyes. Glaucoma runs on my mom's side of the family and I've actually had the pressure in my eye monitored since I was 16. Then she took some photos of the nerves behind my eyeballs and they are inflamed. So on top of my horrible vision that can almost no longer be corrected by contacts but also disqualifies me for lasik or prk, we're gonna add a glaucoma watch. It's not bad enough to need treatment yet but I have to go back in for a follow up to make sure it's not getting worse. Even with contacts and glasses the best my vision can be is 20/30.

I tried to run some errands afterwards but realized I couldn't drive with my eyes dilated. That made for a scary 20 minute drive home. I get home and notice there's dog poop on my front lawn...again. Everyday that we've been here I've had to pick up my dogs' poop in the backyard and someone else's dog's poop in the front. Our neighbor across the street always lets his little dog roam around my lawn with no leash. I've never seen him poop on our lawn but he certainly pees on every part of it he can. I'm pretty non-confrontational. I don't like to cause trouble. I don't like to make a big fuss but today was the wrong day to mess with me. So I look out the door and look who's on my lawn again. The old guy was sitting by his garage watching so I marched myself over there and asked him if he could clean up after his dog. He wasn't very friendly but he wasn't mean about it. He simply told me his dog never poops on my lawn and if he were to, he would pick it up. He said it's been a problem in the neighborhood. Someone on the street is letting their dogs out at night and in the morning there is poop everywhere including his lawn. I don't know if I believe him or not but at least I got it off my chest. Problem not solved...

I have also realized over the course of 2 weeks that we've been living here that we live on the hottest/driest part of the island. I break out in a sweat every day even if I do absolutely nothing. I have to water the lawn every day or it will die. The dogs are not allowed (even on leash) in any of the parks near us. And best of all...no one lives near me! I live where all the locals live. The locals who hate the military.

Does anyone know how much energy it takes to be this negative all the time? The plus side? I spend so much time and energy being bitter that I have no problems sleeping. How am I going to get through this year? And what kind of person will I be when it's all over?

it's like the first time

2010-06-02T12:41:00.000-07:00

Deployment that is. I remember the first deployment. Back when we were all so innocent, not knowing what to expect, and trying to find our way in the army world. But I had a great group of friends that helped me with each step of the way. God blessed me with another great group of friends for the second one. Now I just feel lost.

He leaves soon...too soon. We're still living in a hotel. Our stuff isn't here. All the people I knew that were going to experience this next deployment with me have been diverted. I have no FRG, no coffee. None of the people hubby works with are married. My neighborhood is made up of locals that don't understand the military life. I can't find a church that has people my age.

I feel like everything is crashing in on me and I can't breathe. I don't even understand the stupid structure of the unit we're with.

For now, I just have to enjoy the time we have...

To do list

2010-05-20T13:03:00.000-07:00

I love making to do lists. Sometimes I write things on the list I've already done just so I can cross it off. Just makes me feel like I've accomplished something. So I've decided to make a to do list of things I'd like to accomplish during this next deployment. I always say I'm going to take up new hobbies or re-ignite my love for old ones but somehow the year always goes by with nothing done. I don't have a comprehensive list because I think of new things every day but here's a few things I've thought of.

1. Visit every farmers market on this island
2. Run at least one 5K and maybe even a 10K
3. Ride a wave on a surfboard at least once
4. Take the dogs on a hike at least once a month
5. Take a photography class
6. Visit every popular tourist attraction

That's all I can think of right now. These are all things that my other half pretty much has no interest in doing with me so it works out nicely. Anyone have any other ideas to add to my list? Now I just have to find someone who's willing to do this stuff with me....

torch party anyone?

2010-05-17T13:30:00.000-07:00

Yup, it's that time again! The time for my husband to abandon me and leave 3-4 weeks before anyone else does. The date our stuff arrives on the island is only 7 days away from the date he's supposed to leave. I just hope the movers can get us our stuff before he leaves so he can at least pick out the stuff I'll have to send him.

We spent the first half of the weekend enjoying ourselves and the second half preparing for the upcoming departure. We got to go boogie boarding. The beach right by our house rents them out for $1/hour. I found out that boogie boarding makes me slightly nauseated and I'm too out of shape to be doing it! It was sooo tiring. It was a rush when I was able to catch one wave out of hundreds that I missed but I definitely need to start working out if I want to get out there again. We're going to try surfing next weekend. That should be interesting.

Got our Costco membership yesterday. We were able to save $50 with the coupon book they gave us but spent many more dollars on all the stuff we ended up getting. I'm happy with my $150 underwater camera. Won't be the best camera I ever own but I can bring it snorkeling with me. The sad part is, we didn't even buy any food. It was just the basic cleaning supplies you need to get a household started.

We haven't moved into the house yet but we were able to do all our laundry there yesterday. Unfortunately, the water heater sprang a leak and there was water everywhere when we got home from shopping. The management company hasn't returned any of my calls so we'll have to see how long this lease lasts for. The dogs were able to romp around in the yard as we shopped. I'm pretty sure they felt like they had been abandoned. The funny part is that they seem to have issues doing their business in new places. When we moved from Texas to Georgia they held it for a day because they didn't want to go in the hotel parking lot. As soon as we let them out of the backyard, they ran to the front to find a place to relieve themselves. When we got back to our hotel (which I'm pretty sure they consider home now), they ran out to potty like they hadn't gone in days.

Today has been a fun day of trying to get the water heater fixed, trying to find out where our car title was mailed and why I was charged $52 for a $15 lunch I had last week. And re-typing this post because there was an error and half of it was deleted.... Weekend please!

hula girls, farmers markets, and snorkeling!

2010-05-12T13:27:00.000-07:00

We tried out the church by our soon to be home on Sunday. The people there were really nice. A little awkward because everyone was a hugger but very warm and welcoming. For mother's day instead of mother's wearing corsages, they were presented with leis. I didn't see many people our age but I might try out a women's Bible study next week when I live a little closer and might be able to hitch a ride. We even had a young girl do a beautiful hula dance during service. Made me wish I had a daughter who could learn to hula. Mother's day is becoming a little bittersweet as I start to question whether or not I'll ever experience motherhood.

After church, we checked out a farmers market on North Shore. We only had a little bit of time before it closed so we had just enough time for me to get an awesome banana, strawberry and nutella crepe made by French men. Tim opted for the raw sugar cane...it was gross. Grabbed some lunch and headed to the beach for some snorkeling. We only had our regular swim goggles so we swam around, saw some fishes and swam with the turtles. Later on our friends let us borrow their gear and we got to go out again for round 2.

We stopped at a beach where sea turtles are known to rest and sun bathe. There was only one on the beach that day but it was neat to see it up close. There are volunteers there that rope off the area around a turtle so that people don't get too close and don't touch or disturb the turtles. Oddly enough, I didn't have my camera on me.

We finished off the day with a stop at Matsumoto's for some shave ice. Ice cream topped with azuki beans topped with a snow cone...could have added some condensed milk on top but decided to save that for next time. It was a delicious end to a wonderful day.

On Monday, Marissa took me to check out another beach. This one was nice and wavy. We got to jump off the rocks and float around on our noodles. Then as we laid out on the beach, these guys started singing and playing the ukelele. What a wonderful way to spend a Monday!

Now it's back to real life trying to get everything settled!

Things are looking good!

2010-05-06T13:30:00.000-07:00

We sign for the house I described in my last post tomorrow! I'm still iffy about the size of the bedrooms. In reality, our bathroom in Texas was bigger than our master bedroom here. But I've decided if I only live on the lower level everything will be fine. So if you don't get claustrophobic easily, come on over to the islands for a vacation! We're only 5 minutes from a nice beach where beginners learn to surf and right down the street from that beach is a beach we can take the dogs to.

My car has arrived to the island 15 days ahead of schedule. Initially it was going to take 30 days because we just missed the cut off for the sail date prior. Somehow our car arrived to the port within hours of the ship leaving so it got put on the earlier ship and was supposed to be ready for pick up late next week. But they called today and told me I can get it tomorrow. The only problem with that is I have no ride to the port so I'll have to wait until next week anyways.

Now if only our HHG could arrive in the 3-4 week window everyone else has lucked out with. It's supposed to take 60 days but everyone I talked to said it's taken less than a month because it's not prime PCS time yet. It would be awesome if we could get our HHG right after we move in, especially since we couldn't fit our air mattress in our luggage. We get to stay in a hotel until our HHG reach our house but I'd hate to be paying for a hotel and rent at the same time. If it all works out the way I plan (which let's admit, it never works out the way you plan it), we'll only have stayed in a hotel for a month. We're ready to move out. The cramped quarters are forcing all 4 of us to snap at each other.

We're also going to try out a new church on Sunday. It'll be 10 mins from our new neighborhood. I know someone who goes to services there now and loves it. She's trying the Bible study tonight. Since I don't have a car yet, I'll have to wait until next week for that.

I can't wait to actually start living here! I went out to lunch with a friend yesterday and as we were cruising around the island in her convertible, I breathed in the ocean air and thought...I live here! Now to get my Costco membership!

taking some time to enjoy life!

2010-05-03T12:37:00.000-07:00

After being completely obsessed with finding a place to live, we finally took some time to enjoy the island a little. The one thing we've not skimped on since being here is the food. We love the food! Maybe not the lau lau that was explained to me by our waitress as "fish and fat wrapped in leaves." Eventually I'll try it but her description made me want to vomit. I enjoy the Kalua pork and cabbage, teriyaki chicken, and unlimited sushi places. We went to one of those sushi restaurants that has the conveyor belt so you get to see everything and just take what you want. Tim loves that everything here is served with rice. I could probably do without the macaroni salad. I'm finding you sort of have to go out of your way to order fresh fruits and vegetables. We have both gained so much weight that we're embarrassed to wear bathing suits.

We haven't truly experienced the beach yet. We walked along Waikiki one night but Tim didn't want to get in the water because his feet are still messed up from ranger school. We took the dogs to this sketchy homeless area near industrial plants because we couldn't find a dog friendly beach. Denny was quite intrigued by the waves whereas Scout could have done without them. She kept climbing up on the rocks to get away from the waves but then they'd knock her on her butt. The other day we drove up the Leeward side of the island (west coast) attempting to find a dog friendly beach. We didn't find one so we pulled off to the side of the road, climbed down a brushy hill and found our own little lagoon. It was perfect for the dogs. Too rocky for children and protected on 3 sides so we just had to keep them from getting swept out to sea from one point. They had a blast! Denny chased the waves and almost got swept out on a few occasions. He wanted the big waves! Scout tried to jump over the waves so they wouldn't get her. The only part that sucked was there was no shade so I got a sunburn and we were up on what I assume were black lava rocks so the puppies were burning their feet when they came on shore. Next time we bring sunblock and beach towels.

We found a house we might live in. It's a 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath. A little small but everything here is small...or huge and in the ghetto. It's the first one we've seen that has a eat in kitchen so we can fit both our kitchen and dining sets....otherwise we would have to store one. We're used to the open floor plan so I'm a little disappointed that the kitchen is completely enclosed. There isn't much cabinet space so we might have to get some kind of island. The downstairs is all laminate flooring so we can leave the dogs inside or put in a doggy door and let them go in and out as they please. The yard is split in half so half of it is grass and half is a cement patio. A lot of the other ones we saw had only one or the other. Either a small all grass yard with no patio or a large cement patio with no grass for the dogs to even relieve themselves. I don't like that none of the patio is covered. Upstairs is tiny with no walk in closets or his and her sinks. We'll probably have to separate our master bedroom furniture into the 3 bedrooms. I think if the neighborhood was a little nicer we'd be more excited about it. As it is, it's not in the ghetto but it's not a great neighborhood either. I wouldn't be afraid to walk around during the day but probably not so much at night.

Our other option is to wait for on-post housing. When we got here a week ago, we were somewhere around number 7 on the waiting list but with no vacancies in sight. Our old neighbors at Benning who got here 3 weeks before us just got offered on post housing but can't move in until May 31st. So they'll have waited 2 months total. Which wouldn't be so bad if we didn't need our HHG before Tim leaves. There are a bunch of people PCS-ing as soon as school lets out but since they have kids and we don't...we don't even qualify for their housing. We're having a hard time deciding if we want to wait and see what happens with on post housing or just take this one. The problem with not taking this one is that the rental market moves really fast here. We will not find another house like this for this rental price that allows dogs. There were a couple where I made appointments to look at them but they were taken before we could even see them. But post is a good 30 mins away without traffic so Tim will actually have to commute and I'll have to make that drive anytime I want to use the commissary, gym or any of the on post activities. The only time we lived off post, we were right outside the gate and I worked there and I still didn't use the gym or commissary.

Decisions, decisions....so I'm hoping if God shuts the door on this house that it'll mean we should wait for on-post housing. It's sad, most people stay in hotels here for at least 30-60 days. We've been in this one for 10 days and Tim's already aggravated by my mess and the dogs are fighting with each other! We just need our own place and our own space. We have been able to cook a few simple meals in our electric skillet. Unfortunately our fridge can only fit either food or drinks and right now the milk is taking up the whole fridge.

Well time to do laundry for $5 a load. Tim accidentally wore one of his uniforms from ranger school to work today. Not a great first impression....

deranged puppies, housing hunting and microwave meals...oh my!

2010-04-22T10:22:00.000-07:00

We made it! On Monday, we spent the whole day scrubbing the house before inspection. Everyone told me not to worry about it because our houses were gross to begin with, but of course I didn't listen. I probably spent about 12 hours total scrubbing the stove and oven. The lady didn't even look at them. As I was wiping down the counter tops, she walked through the whole house and told me everything was perfect. She actually told me to stop cleaning.

We cleared post, shipped our car and got a rental car and a hotel room for the 13 hours before our flight. The rental car was much smaller than our Pilot so it was a pretty tight squeeze. Good thing it was only a 15 min drive to the airport. We got to the airport around 4:30AM. I thought I'd have a chance to let the dogs relieve themselves one last time but the dog park was located at another terminal. So the dogs were loaded into their crates for the next 18 hours. The people at the ticket counter had never done a military ticket or pets before so that was interesting. They were supposed to charge us for our extra bag but after trying to charge us for all the bags and counting the dogs twice they gave up.

The flight itself was long but uneventful. They were supposed to tell us when they loaded up the dogs but we had to wait until we got to Salt Lake City to find out whether or not the dogs made it. Our flight made it to Honolulu about 40 minutes ahead of schedule. That was nice. We got a rental car but still needed the assistance of a friend since the dogs have to leave airport property without ever stepping foot out of their crates. I could hear Scout howling from outside the animal holding facility. She didn't stop shaking until a few hours after we got to the hotel. Denny was fine but a little clingy. I was pleasantly surprised that there were no accidents inside the crate.

We're now staying at a hotel that is a little on the dumpy side but allows dogs and even has a tiny dog park that the dogs can do their business in. We even played a little fetch today. We don't have a kitchenette but we have a tiny fridge (no freezer) and a microwave. Sadly, we're already sick of eating out for every meal so we went to the commissary and bought some foods that can be microwaved. Tim is ecstatic that almost every meal on the island comes with rice!

We went to the housing office only to be told there are no prospects for us living on post. They didn't even give us a number...just told us to start looking off post. They even tried to find us a dumpy 2 bedroom. I'm glad that didn't pan out. So the house search starts today. So far the biggest problem is the dogs and the second is that rent is super expensive for these dumpy little places. The good thing is that Tim's willing to commute because there isn't anything available close to post. I think today we'll just kind of drive around and see what's available. Wish us luck!

Time is a flying!

2010-04-17T11:39:00.000-07:00

This week has gone by soo quickly. With trying to meet up with people one last time and getting everything done, we've been exhausted. I can't believe we're almost done with this short phase of our lives. Our bags are packed but unfortunately we've had to unpack and repack them since we're still living out of them. The house is halfway clean thanks to my wonderful husband. He swept and mopped almost all the floors as I was packing and organizing. Today will be the bathrooms and kitchen and then we're done. We've been sleeping on an air mattress for 4 nights so far and I am ready to get to a hotel room. I know Tim is because we only have 1 blanket and I hog it every night.

It's sad that I've just only started to meet my neighbors as we're leaving but they have been wonderful! We've borrowed all kinds of things from them and it's just nice to take a short break from the craziness and stand there and chit chat. I've had to watch a child for a few minutes here and there, but nothing I'm not already used to. I even got to go out for a little girl time with one of my neighbors. She just had her third child a few months back so girl time is hard to come by for her.

The dogs are going crazy. They can't figure out why we no longer sleep in the bedroom and have closed off that side of the house completely. They're getting used to sleeping in their crates every night. I think if we had carpet they would just sleep on that but the linoleum/tile stuff is not working for them. The fence has been taken down so they can only go out one at a time and there's no play time in the backyard anymore. Thank goodness the dog park is still available to them.

Last night my friends threw me a little goodbye party. It wasn't much of a "party" because 3 people couldn't make it so it was just the 4 of us but we had a blast! We actually stayed up until 2AM just talking. Unfortunate for Tim, since he had to come pick me up at 2:30AM. He was invited, he just had plans with some of his friends. Most of these girls I've only known for a short period of time but I'm really going to miss them. I wish we had met earlier on in my time here but I know the more time we spend together, the harder it would be to leave.

Tomorrow we move out of our house and head to Atlanta. I can't believe it's really happening! I've decided to really make an effort to post pictures when I start blogging again. Not sure it's going to happen in the first few months since I'm pretty sure I packed the camera cords but I'm going to try. As I was reading through some blogs yesterday I just realized how much more enjoyable pictures make it. I'm also going to change the web address because this blog really isn't about us. It's all about me. Don't worry, I'll give y'all a heads up when I decide to do that.

Bye Bye South! You've treated me well for the past 4 years. I hope they have sweet tea in Hawaii!

Time is going by too fast!

2010-04-07T19:19:00.001-07:00

While Tim was gone, the time just dragged. I didn't think we'd ever PCS. All of a sudden he's back, there's a ton of stuff to do, and we're leaving in less than 2 weeks. I was so careful to make sure all the dogs' paperwork was done correctly and months ahead of time. So what do I do? I sit on the paperwork until I realize, it's not going to get there in time! I had to overnight it there to make sure it got there the required 10 days before they do.

Then we moved the HHG pack and pick up dates a few days earlier only to find out that we can't change our move out date and we can't leave any earlier because of the dogs. So instead we will spend a week in an empty house. You'd think he just joined the army and this was our first PCS.

I was hoping for a direct flight for the dogs' sake but apparently the people at transpo aren't that smart. It took them forever to find Tim's name on his orders. Then they made the tickets for his report date and told him he couldn't get there any earlier than his report date. Hi, we'd like to get there before the day he has to report for work. Then they told him I couldn't go because I wasn't authorized. This is while she held the concurrent orders in her hand. They forced us to go to a brief that you only have to go to if you PCS to another country. The guy who gave the brief came up to us before he started and told us we didn't have to be there but we asked him if we could stay because they wouldn't give us our tickets otherwise. We finally get our tickets and I ask if they are direct flights and she said yes. Apparently she thought I asked "is this a direct flight to a place that is not our final destination?" It's not a direct flight so now I have to figure out what I have to do with the dogs and if we have time during our layover to let the dogs out. At the end of this trip, they'll have been in their kennels for 18 hours straight. I tried to ask a few more questions but apparently we weren't speaking the same language and fearing that the level of frustration would reach dangerous levels, my husband kindly escorted me out. Instead, tomorrow I'll have to call the airline and try to figure some stuff out.

We traded in the Jeep today. It served us well for the last 8 years but sadly due to neglect during deployments, the 9th year was miserable and it was time to part ways. We went with a used Honda Pilot. Oh how I love that it doesn't make scary squealing noises every time we turn on the air conditioner. It doesn't shake uncontrollably when we stop at lights. It doesn't have all the bells and whistles but I love it just the same! Now we have to figure out if we can ship it without the tags and title. And I'll have to register it in GA only to re-register it in HI 35 days later. Don't you love it when you trade in one problem and stress for another?

Tomorrow will be a full day of phone calls and trying to figure out how I'm going to survive the next 2 weeks. Please pray that my husband and I don't hurt each other. The stress is taking it's toll!

Oh my gosh, we're almost there!!!

2010-03-31T06:19:00.000-07:00

I got the word on Sunday...my husband will officially be a Ranger tomorrow!!! I am sooo proud of him. He made it all the way through without recycling! He got sick in 2 of the phases and we thought for sure he wasn't going to make but he kept telling me that he was definitely being watched over. Today I get to pick him and a couple of his buddies up for a pass. We're going to do some shopping, eat some ginormous calzones, and come home to relax. He told me to set up the living room so his buddies can just sit there and zone out. So we have the game consoles, the laptop and a big box of junk food.

I am really excited about graduation tomorrow. I've never been to any of his graduations where he gets a new patch before. I hear the demonstration is awesome. I find it funny that he feels like he has to remind me to bring a camera. I take tons of pictures, I just never post them! I am not looking forward to security. Apparently when a General's son is graduating all the Generals that live close by also attend but it makes getting into the ceremony a nightmare. At least I don't have to drive on-post. I'm told that's one of the worst parts.

Then...it's Hawaii!!! It's finally real! Everyone kept asking me if I was excited and I was, but not knowing when you're leaving makes it that much further away. We can be there no later than one month from Thursday! In a few weeks I'll be laying on the beach trying to figure out where we're going to live. I guess we could always pitch a tent. So now it's the mad scramble to get things done but my husband will pretty much be useless at least through the weekend.

On another note...ever since I was shunned by a few of the neighbors for not having kids, I stopped trying to make friends on our street. So new people moved in and I made no attempt to talk to them. Our neighbors across the street probably moved in about 4 months after us and we've said hi once. Our neighbors next door to us expressed interest in getting together but we just do our daily greetings. They pick up our mail when we go out of town. And we got brand new neighbors behind us. They moved in while I was in Texas. I never said hi and slowly it passed that point in time where you can introduce yourself as a new neighbor. But I figured, who cares? I'll be out of here in a little bit anyways.

Yesterday, I was cleaning the stove. It's got this layer of what looks like paint that forms every time you turn the burner on. We started cleaning it when we first moved in but we figured out there was no point in cleaning it if it would only form again the next time I used the stove. And keeping up with it, did not make it easier to clean. So I have spent the last 5 days cleaning the stove and so far I have 1 clean burner. That's with spending 2 hours per day scrubbing. Anyways...

I'm scrubbing the stove and going back and forth between the stove and the sink and I see moving trucks in front of the house of the neighbors across the street. I watch my neighbors sitting in their driveway on coolers and trunks for about 1-2 hours before I realize, I have folding chairs I can bring over. I bring them over and tell them if they need anything during the move, to not hesitate to ask...something I should have asked 6 months ago when they moved in. I told them I felt their pain since we'll be doing the same thing in a few weeks. So we ask where the other is moving and we're both moving to Hawaii! We talk for a little bit and realize we've both been shunned by the neighborhood even though I thought she had an in with a toddler. We both like to take walks and wanted walking partners but sadly walked alone for these 6 months. She stayed couped up in her house and I stayed couped up in mine. It was truly sad. Then I ended up talking to her husband for about 30 mins and couldn't figure out why we hadn't hung out before this. So I gave them all my info and hopefully we'll link up in Hawaii.

Of course, then I decide I'm going to talk to all the neighbors who haven't excluded me. The one next door invited us to a BBQ they're having at their house next weekend. The one behind me thought they were the only ones in the neighborhood without kids and have pretty much stayed to themselves. We plan on doing dinner before we leave. Craziness. So this is why I try so hard at the beginning and try to make friends with basically anyone who will talk to me. Because somewhere there are people who want to be my friends, I just have a tendency to choose the wrong ones until we're getting ready to leave.

So as I tell myself every single time we PCS...the next post will be different! I'm looking forward to it! And now to finish cleaning up so dirty Rangers can come in and destroy my house!

Procrastination never helps anyone!

2010-03-26T10:30:00.001-07:00

My name is Cynthia and I am a procrastinator. I have always waited until the last possible minute to do things. I hate being stressed out but I do my best work under that stress. Well, I had a long "To Do" list that I was supposed to get done before the 1st of April. Unfortunately, none of that has been done. Now I'm running out of time! I'm feeling so overwhelmed that instead of throwing myself into getting things done, I feel myself shutting down. So instead I've done absolutely nothing this week!

I was going to do my taxes today. I've given up on finding an alternative to the Tax Center. I was going to go in and see how long I'd have to wait, but I decided the smart thing to do was call and see if I could get an appointment. It's a good thing I called because if you own a house that you're renting out, you have to make an appointment. But because I waited so long to call them I can't get an appointment until a week before taxes are due. Maybe next year I'll be more prepared...

Next up, sending the car. If I can get the car to the shipping place by next week, we'll only have to rent a car for 2 weeks. If I had shipped it a few weeks ago, our car would have been waiting for us when we got there. Now I have to find someone who's willing to drive to Atlanta to pick me up after I drop the car off. So far, it's not looking good. I also have to figure out what I'm going to do with the Jeep. Pay to ship a worthless car or try to sell a car in 2 weeks? I'd like to put it on the lemon lot but once I ship the other car, I'll have no car to drive.

Since I haven't been doing anything productive this week, I've been watching reality TV shows about hoarders. I've always had a tendency towards hoarding but now I'm turning into one of those crazy hoarders. At first, I was just a collector of things. I can't bear to throw things out if I think at some point I might use it or I might be able to give it to someone else to use. None of my things have it's proper place and if I were not married to someone who forces me to move every few years/months, I could easily fill my house to the brim with junk. But this week it's gotten worse. I can't even clean up after myself. I've been leaving garbage and dirty dishes every where. With the possibility of my husband coming home in a week....this is not good! So today I took some big steps by throwing out my collection of old wallets. Every time I get a new wallet, I keep the old wallet in a drawer. I have a whole drawer of old wallets and cell phones. If you're not a hoarder, you can't possibly know how hard a process this is. I tried to get my mom to throw out some of the magnets on her fridge this past summer. Some of them are soo old they have to be scraped off the fridge. I was able to throw out 4 magnets before my mom started grabbing them out of my hand. This does not bode well for my future. So I need to take care of this problem before it gets completely out of hand!

Today, I am having a friend over for dinner. That means at least the minimum has to be done. Wish me luck!

bumps along the road...

2010-03-18T09:56:00.000-07:00

I'm really excited that I get to put my 30 day notice in for housing. That means we're almost there! But then I realized I did not get a general POA. I have about 6 special ones but we failed to get the general one. What does that mean? I can't put in notice without my husband. The bad news came yesterday when I was told that by the time my husband gets home we will only have 15 days before we leave housing. With that being insufficient notice, I would have to pay the extra 15 days we won't be here. So I put on my sad face, which was not difficult with the day I've been having, walked into the office, and told them I had no idea what to do about putting in notice. The lady walked me through step by step until we got to the part where she asked for my POA. Then she put her sad face on and told me she couldn't help me. When I explained that he was in Ranger School, she told me in that case, the 30 days notice was waived! Yay! So now he just has to go in and sign the paperwork! She even let me request the days and everything.

Then I had to go home and deal with the rest of the stuff. I decided to re-pierce my ears last night. I've had my ears pierced since I was 4 but I lose earrings like it's my job. So growing up I was never allowed to wear earings unless it was a special occasion...and even then I would lose one. This made it so I've never felt the need to wear earrings and my ears will actually bleed if I wear them for more than a few hours. About once a year I put an earring in just to make sure the hole stays open. In June, I was in a wedding and brought my earrings only to find that the hole in one ear had closed up. I tried to force it through but it simply wouldn't go. Oh well, no big loss. Last night I decide I must reopen that hole! So I try to stick an earring through and it doesn't work. I push it a little harder and nothing happens. I'm determined to reopen the hole so I spend an hour pushing and prodding and spinning until the post finally gets through. I thought about using a needle but I didn't want to go through trying to get the earring back through after I pulled the needle out. An hour of torturing myself just sounded like the better plan. Now I have earrings on, but my ear is also throbbing. It could be that it's infected but this is also what it normally feels like when I have earrings on. I'm gonna give it another day. I can just see my medical file, 30 year old woman tried to pierce her own ear...unsuccessful idiot gave herself an infection.

Yesterday morning while I was feeding the dogs, I noticed there were pieces in their food that didn't belong. Their food is brown, these pieces were red and not even the same shape. So I thought it was probably like when you get a stray onion ring in your french fries...bonus! I threw the few pieces out and didn't think twice. Well this morning, I notice there's even more mixed in. Most people know how paranoid I am about my dogs' food. I've switched them about 4 times since the dog food recalls and every time it gets a little more expensive. So I was pretty upset that I'm finding random bits of kibble in their bowls. I called the company to ask them if they even make a dog food that's red in color. I had to leave a message. Yes, I'm still the crazy dog lady. Now I'm trying to decide if I should switch their food again.

While I was dealing with the food, I noticed a big puddle on the floor next to the fridge. Score! My refrigerator defrosted itself! The stuff in the fridge was still relatively cold and the stuff in the freezer had just started to defrost. So I put a work order in. They came by within half an hour and told me I needed a new fridge. This was when I almost did a happy dance since we live on post and it doesn't come out of our pockets. But I had to empty out the fridge. Lucky for me, I had a few friends pcs and give me their food before they left. Not like my fridge wasn't already filled to the max. So I hauled our 2 large coolers out and started emptying. Pulled out the last few condiments as they pulled up with my NEW fridge. Well, not really new. So it had some blood stains and something watery left over from the last tenant, no biggie. The plus was that it had already been running over night so it was cold. I couldn't do a scrub down like I wanted, but I was able to rid the fridge of the really nasty stuff.

That's how my day started. I'm supposed to make Irish soda bread for a get together tonight but I'm hoping they still have some left at the store because it just ain't happening!

Post of the month.

2010-03-15T14:45:00.000-07:00

Not a very good poster these days. I read the blogs almost every day but it's hard for me to get motivated enough to post to my own. Plus, my life just isn't all that interesting. I have no crafty ideas or recipes to share. I don't have any video clippings of chilidren to amuse people with. And let's face it, who needs to see more pictures or videos of my dogs?

A lot has happened in the past few weeks though. Hubby made it through the first 2 phases of school. If all goes well I will see him in less than 3 weeks. Keri and Skylar came for a visit. It was nice to have someone to chat with and watch Skylar terrorize, I mean play, with my dogs. I love that whenever I see old friends it's just like old times. I travelled to Texas for a wedding but also got to spend a week visiting with friends and co-workers. I stayed with Danna for the week. Spent time with both Mary-Anne and Ellen and their kids. It's fun to see how things have changed while other things will always stay the same. It was great visiting but it made coming home a little harder. While I was away, I had something to do on a daily basis. Now it's just me and the dogs, but I sure did miss them!

We have a little over a month left before the big move. I'm getting excited but also really nervous. There are some things that I've been putting off and I really just need to sit down and get them done. I'm trying to get back into the routine of doing chores and going to the gym.

I got to babysit a one year old over the weekend. At first, I was like...I don't know how mom's do it. How do they get everything done? But as I was getting into the swing of things I realized it's because they have to. There's limited time to do everything so if you don't get stuff done during nap time, it's probably not going to be done for the day. Whereas I have unlimited free time so I think, if I don't do it today...I can always do it tomorrow. Need to get myself out of that mind set. I just hate this waiting around.

Hopefully living in paradise will put me in a better mood.

I'm sick again!

2010-02-02T15:15:00.000-08:00

After 10 days of being sick and coughing my head off every night, I was finally able to get rid of it in the middle of last week. So what happens next? My husband comes home for 36 hours and gives me a new strain! I feel really bad for him since I know he has it and it's been raining and cold since he left so that can't make it any better. But why did he have to give it to me?!?!?

So now I'm back to coughing all night long. I've used up all the tissues in my house. I can still taste just not very well. Luckily I still have leftovers from the weekend so I'm good for tonight but I'll have to start making meals again tomorrow. The dogs are going nuts because they're just milling about the house all day. Denny woke me up at 5:00 this morning by vomiting on the floor, twice!

My normal 1.5 hours of dog walking time got shortened to 15 mins of walking and 15 mins of training. I really didn't even want to walk the dogs today but I had a trainer come to my house yesterday and I had to remind myself if I didn't follow through, the lessons would be worthless. So far I think the dogs are a little (a very very little) better behaved. 75% of the time I can throw the ball and get Denny to stay until I tell him it's ok to get it. I am using the prong collars again which I hate using! But my walking around in circles and back and forth to only allow them to walk when the leash is loose was not working. It only made the neighbors think I was crazy and can't walk a straigh line. Plus they love the prong collar because they know it means they're going for a walk so they fight for it when I pull them out.

Now the trainer wants me to consider a shock collar for Scout. I had never noticed it before because Scout seems like the sweet obedient one but she's actually bossy and manupulative. The trainer kept asking me if I noticed what she just did and that it was a form of her dominating me. She won't move out of my way if she's in my way and if you tell her to she becomes an immovable statue. She tells me when it's time to play, be pet, or eat. And I usually just do what she tells me to without even noticing. For the first 10 mins of the trainer being there, she was the perfect angel and the trainer didn't see any problems with her. But after Scout realized the trainer was going to force her to sit after just being asked once and without a treat, she became really stubborn and refused to do anything the trainer asked her to do. The trainer said she's only seen one other case where the dog is that stubborn!

I thought that when I left her in the backyard or in her crate and she flipped out, it was because she was afraid of being left alone and she was suffering from separation anxiety. The dog trainer pointed out that she was simply have a temper tantrum and you could tell by what she was doing and her personality in general. So I used to feel really bad about leaving her even for 5 mins but today when I walked out the door with Denny I just kept telling myself...she's having a tantrum and you can't give into it. So I'm convincing myself that the shock collar is like slapping a child's hand when they are being bad or stubborn. It doesn't actually hurt them, it actually hurts you more, but it tells them that their behavior is not ok. But first I had to feel the shock collar for myself. It didn't hurt, it just surprised me.

It's sad that neither of my dogs see me as a leader. I've had children at the Petstore give them commands that they've obeyed when I had been trying for a few mins with no results myself. Plus they move for crawling babies but not for me when I walk by. Oh well, hopefully the trainer will help me "be the pack leader." If only she used purely positive methods like Cesar Milan...but he also gets bitten a lot when he's training...

I'm soo bored!

2010-01-29T08:55:00.000-08:00

I'd almost rather be sick. At least when I was sick the days kind of blurred together and I didn't have to find things to do since all I wanted to do was lay in bed all day. I really need some unemployed women to hang out with. The ones that want to hang out have to work all the time and the ones that have free time just want to be home all the time. Oh well!

One of the reasons I'm grumpy is because I got Tim's schedule all mixed up. I thought he was going to be home today and tomorrow before abandoning me on Sunday. Apparently, he won't be home until tomorrow. Which means rushing to get his laundry done, stuffing food down his throat so he doesn't starve and then probably watching him sleep.

I have gotten quite a bit accomplished this week. After today I will have finished my first week of P90X. I actually did week one and half of week 2 before I got sick but since I took an extended break, I decided to start all over again. I have walked the dogs every single day this week. That is really difficult for me to do. Usually mid-walk I just get completed frustrated and it takes me a few days to motivate myself to do it again. I'm determine to be able to walk both of them at the same time without being dragged down the street or having a random person say "are you walking the dogs or are they walking you?" Really? That's getting old. I went grocery shopping for the first time in 3 weeks. I had to. I ran out of milk, bread, eggs and just about everything else. I tried Lactaid milk for the first time yesterday. Who knew drinking milk could be so pleasant? Normally I drink milk and deal with the consequences later. I guess I was always afraid Lactaid would taste funny. While it does taste just a little bit off, it's definitely worth it!

I have to admit, I have not been great at my daily Bible readings. I've skipped a day here and there but I'm going to keep it up! I even memorized my Bible verse for Bible study this week. I had memorization! I have a lot of homework for Bible study. Last week I didn't spread it out very well and got overwhelmed in the last few days before PWOC. So this week I'm going to do a little every day so I can get the most out of the study.

I've made the decision to hire a dog trainer. I've been going back and forth because I'd have to make some sacrifices to afford this trainer. But in the end I decided that having a dog that doesn't try to eat other dogs is worth it. I was supposed to get a new sewing/embroidery machine for my birthday but instead it'll have to be dog training.

So what's on the agenda today? P90X, buy dog food and laundry detergent, Bible study, then just chillin with me, myself and I!

Bye bye 20's!

2010-01-23T19:47:00.000-08:00

Hello 30's! So 30 feels no different than 29. Although, it does make you want to lie a little more when people ask you how old you are. Tim was not here to celebrate the arrival of this new decade with me but I did have a wonderful dinner with a great bunch of people. I wasn't sure how it was going to go because it was 7 people all from different friend circles with only 2 of them having met before. But it turned out to be really fun. And the food...it was excellent! I was a little weary of dragging people to a pricier restaurant to celebrate my birthday but in the end I figured; my husband's not here and there will not be any cake or presents, by golly I'm going to have a good meal! I was very happy with my choice. Now if only I didn't have a stuffy nose that prevented me from truly enjoying my dinner.

I feel like poop!

2010-01-19T11:04:00.000-08:00

So immediately after my husband left, I came down with something. Actually I could feel it the morning that he left so I'm really hoping I did not give it to him or he's really going to be sucking. For the last few days I've been hanging out in bed watching more tv than any person should ever watch. I can't even turn it on anymore, I'm soo sick of it. But unfortunately I was too out of it to really do anything else. I have 3 different books that I'm trying to get through right now but the inability to focus is a bit of a problem.

Yesterday, I got myself together and tried to finish up my sewing projects that I had started in November. I am happy to say my pair of pants are almost finished. I just have to shorten them and possibly take them in a little. The problem is that I cut the wrong size pattern for one part so the crotch is about 3 inches lower than where it's supposed to be. I'll probably never wear them anyways... Then there's the dress. I'm actually quite pleased with the dress. All I have left is to put in the zipper and take it in a little. I bought a new pattern today but I think this one might be a little out of my league. I don't even understand the terminology written on it.

I was hoping sewing classes twice a week, going to the gym, and the possibility of a job would keep me busy for the next couple of months. But I still haven't heard back about the job, the boss won't even return my calls. Sewing classes were cancelled due to the intructors inability to schedule classes consistently. I stopped working out on Friday when I first got sick and after a week off...I'm not sure I can get that going again.

I would love to make a trip to Colorado however not having a job for the past 7 months and the possibility of not having a job for the next 3 years makes the budget a little tighter. I will most likely be going to Texas for a few days in March for a wedding. Hoping to make it to the Killeen area but the wedding is in Houston. And I do plan on making a trip to SC because that is the only place that makes it just under my limit of driving 6 hours at a time. Plus I can teach Keri how to sew all of Skylar's clothes and Keri can pass that onto Skylar when she's homeschooling her.

Right now I'd be pretty darn happy if I could just get rid of all this snot...I know...wonderful image!

All by myself....don't want to be all by myself....

2010-01-15T18:30:00.000-08:00

The time has come for my husband to abandon me again. He'll only be gone for 2 weeks. Then he'll be home for a day and if all goes well he'll be gone for an additional 2 months. It's been almost a year since he came home from his last deployment and we haven't really spent that much time apart so his leaving is a little harder than I had expected. It also doesn't help that he will be missing yet another birthday, this one being the big 3-0.

He's been gone for about 9 hours and I'm already bored. I don't have many friends here to begin with but it's even worse when the friends I do have all have their husbands here so no one wants to hang out. This is also the first time I'm not working while he's gone. It's not like I don't have stuff to do, I'm just sad that I have to hang out by myself. Thank goodness for the dogs. I don't think I'd even be able to sleep at night if I didn't have the dogs with me.

I'm actually becoming a desperate housewife...

Pet Peeves and a New Year!

2010-01-01T20:16:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone! So I'm going to start my post off with my normal cheery self. Pet peeves....I have tons of pet peeves but one in particular has been bugging me over the past 2 months. Iphones and Blackberries....I have no problem with the devices themselves, the problem lies more with the user. I know I'll get a little bit of crap on this because a lot of my friends do this. I hate hate hate when people are constantly on their phones checking e-mails, texting, facebooking, and just web surfing in general. There are times and places for that! Some of the times I consider justified are: when your husband is deployed, when you have to look something up really quickly (i.e. movie times), when you're sitting by yourself and have nothing better to do. Times I consider it absolutely rude and want to rip it out of your hands? ....while you're driving, while you're eating a meal with someone, when you're actually talking to someone! What is so important that you have to check your facebook while I'm having a conversation with you? So I'm just going to go ahead and let y'all know....if I am texting while I am having a conversation with you, that means that I am no longer interested in the conversation and you should just walk away. Therefore, don't be offended if I do the same to you! There are times when it's an "emergency" or something that requires your attention immediately and I understand that but sometimes I just want to stomp on your phone and say "really?"

Anyways...enough of that. So my New Year's celebration was very quiet. We had some friends come for a visit but my plans didn't quite pan out. We ended up sitting in front of the tv and watching the ball drop with some cheap champagne. I've never been one for New Year's resolutions. I've kind of felt like if you want to do something, you're going to do it and if you don't want to...it probably won't get done. But then I read in a magazine that with all this blogging, if you blog about it, you're more likely to stick to it because now everyone else knows what you're trying to accomplish...and maybe you'll get some encouragement along the way as well. So my goals this year are: 1. To read the Bible from cover to cover. Many attempts have been made in the past and all have failed. 2. Be able to run a 5K in less than 30 mins without stopping. Seems simple...not for me! 3. Complete P90X. I'll be starting on Sunday. 4. Establish a budget I can actually stick to. 5. Organize all my boxes of photos. Kind of extensive list for the year but I'm feeling pretty good about it.

Hope everyone had a fun and safe holiday!

Another Christmas has come and gone

2009-12-27T13:33:00.000-08:00

Christmas was a little different this year. Usually, we celebrate Christmas morning/afternoon with Tim's family and Christmas night with my family. Sadly this year my family decided not to do anything. I was a little disappointed since we travelled all this way and we won't be back for another Christmas for at least another 3 years. I also made the stockings for all the kids and 2 of them won't even receive them until after we're gone. But we still had a great time with Tim's family. We had our traditional Christmas sushi followed by a friendly game of mahjong.

Part of my family did settle on a day after Christmas lunch where we rushed to open gifts, got to the restaurant late and scurried off to our respectful locations immediately afterwards. I think one of the best part of my day was when my oldest nephew who is 18 told me how much he liked his stocking. Then the 3 kids argued about who's stocking was better.

So far our trip home has been great! We had an awesome meal prepared by Tim's parents the day after we got home. We went to NYC to visit my brother, explore the city and watch Wicked. Got to visit the Rue's in Highland Falls for Christmas Eve and went back to West Point for the first time since Tim graduated. We were supposed to go skiing today but it rained all day and I got violently ill last night. So instead Tim spent the day cleaning the basement with his brother and I got to go shopping. It was sad to go shopping by myself but it beats cleaning the basement anyday. All I wanted was to buy some cute flats but I came home with no shoes and a bag full of sweaters that I won't be able to wear in 4 months. At least I went for the thinner sweaters and some of them have short sleeves.

Skiing has been rescheduled for tomorrow. Then we have to rush back for dinner with the parents. Tuesday will be our last day here. Gotta visit grandma and pack up. We'll have been "home" for 10 days but the time has flown. I really enjoyed our trip but I miss my puppies and I'm ready to get back to our own house.

We'll have visitors pretty much waiting for us when we get home to celebrate the start of the New Year. Then we go back to normal. I'm hoping someone will call me about that job I'm supposed to be starting. But if not I'll enjoy a few more unemployed months! Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

ahh...the holidays are quickly approaching...

2009-12-16T09:15:00.000-08:00

I have to say, I'm not a very festive person. I hate Christmas shopping and I always wait until last minute. We didn't put up any decorations this year since we're going home for the holidays. And once you start receiving gift cards as gifts, it's just not fun anymore. It's a good thing there's a better reason to celebrate Christmas than just trees and presents because otherwise I probably wouldn't participate at all. Bah humbug...

My parents were in town all last week. I enjoyed their visit. I had classes during the day so my mom did a little bit of cleaning every day. My toaster and microwave are spotless! Well, they were a week ago at least. I got to show off some of my culinary skills and learn some from them. We had real Chinese food in Atlanta. We've been here for 6 months and have only been able to find one good Chinese restaurant. My parents were here for 3 days and apparently found all of them. It's pretty amazing to walk into a restaurant I've never been to before in a city my parents have only been in for a few days and have them greet my parents like they were old buddies. I guess my parents had eaten there once already.

I don't know how much fun my parents had since we had zero time to spend with them but I know my dogs enjoyed their company. My dad keeps telling me how much he misses the dogs. I don't think he's ever told me he's missed ME before! Scout remained faithfully by his side the whole time. I'm pretty sure she thought he was a walking treat machine. Denny was a little more timid. He's never been chased by a seventy something year old screaming "why don't you like me" before. My dad has issues with dogs and small children not liking him. Whatever he has to do...they will like him before his visit is through.

Since my parents were in town, I got no Christmas shopping done. I decided to make stockings for my nieces and nephews. I have 2 done so far...much more time consuming than I first thought. My sewing machine is also giving me all kinds of grief. Hubby really wants to get me a new one for Christmas but I can't see spending money on a new machine when I have one that works. It doesn't work great but it works. I also ran into problems with ideas to fill stockings with for a 17 and 18 year old. I still haven't bought anything for the hubby yet.

Just a few more days until we fly home for Christmas. I addressed all my Christmas cards yesterday. I was excited to finally do photo cards but we were rushed and I made some poor decisions with them. The photos turned out soo tiny that you have to squint to see our faces. But alas I ordered 50 of them, the 1 hour photo machine at Walmart is broken and I just want to get them out before I give up on sending Christmas cards all together. I'll think smarter for next year. Hopefully next year's card will be set in Hawaii!

Alright, I've put off finishing the stockings for long enough. I have 4 out of 8 projects that must be completed done and 10 more projects I'd like to do. Wish me luck!

Well that was interesting....

2009-11-27T06:07:00.000-08:00

I love Thanksgiving! Every year I look forward to the feasting, nap and feast again. This is the first year I did almost the whole meal by myself. This is the first Thanksgiving after we got married where Tim is actually home and we had people over. Sadly, this was the first one that disappointed me. I've worked over Thanksgiving and even then it was better than yesterday. At least when I worked, people would bring me food and I would feel like I was loved.

I spent all day cooking. I woke up at 6:50 so I could start the pies. Pies that I told everyone I was making so what did they bring? Pies. I have 4 pumpkin pies in my fridge along with the other 3 that I made. All together there were 10 of us including children. We could have eaten just pie.

Unfortunately being the over planner that I am and thinking about how my family goes back to eat at least 3-4 times during the day, I had about 10 side dishes and some appetizers. Tim complained ahead of time that he thought it was too much food. I, of course, thought it was too little food and that we would run out. I hate it when I'm wrong.

Our guests arrived an hour and a half late, except for one faithful friend who came through with her mashed potatoes even after driving all night to get here. They stayed for a little less than 2 hours and there is approximately 1 tablespoon of food missing from each casserole. Then they politely excused themselves and left. So now I have enough food to do Thanksgiving every day for a month or so. And I don't expect people to help me clean up. In fact, most of the time when people ask me if they can help with anything, I politely decline because they are guests in my house. But it would have been nice if someone, anyone would have at least offered.

Thank goodness my husband is anal about getting the house back in order...'cause we all know I'm not! And since the festivities ended at 7, we had plenty of time to clean up. So the house is nice and clean again minus the few pots and pans we still have to put away and furniture we have to reorganize.

I'm not angry that I spent all day cooking for pretty much what amounted to nothing. I'm just disappointed. I've always spent Thanksgiving with family or good friends. I wouldn't have even minded cooking for strangers. What I'm angry about is that it ruined the whole experience for my husband. He vowed that we would never do Thanksgiving at our house again. We will either go to someone else's house or eat at a restaurant. He missed the last 2 Thanksgivings and he'll miss the next one. Why did this one have to suck? Everyone who knows me knows that I invite everyone. If you don't have anything to do and I'm planning something, you're invited....even if I don't know you...even if I just met you on-line.... Now I'm starting to regret that. Even though we have known these people for years and years, we're apparently not really friends and I made an error in judgement....

Busy week....

2009-11-21T19:24:00.000-08:00

I am feeling exhausted...and no I'm not pregnant. It has just been a very busy week. A few weeks ago I decided I had to visit Amy A. She's one of the few that has visited me without a return visit from myself....which I was reminded of every so often. So after working around her hectic travel schedule, we decided on a date. Of course, things did not go as smoothly as I had hoped.

About a week before my scheduled trip, I found out a good friend from high school was killed in action in Iraq. It was devastating. It happened the day before the Fort Hood shootings but I found out the morning after. Amy S. was a good friend. Even though time and distance separated us she always made an effort not only to keep in touch with me but all our other friends. Sadly, between all my high school friends...she was probably the only link left. She always wrote very encouraging e-mails to me. Not only was she in the army herself but she was also married to a soldier and they were stationed at different posts for the majority of their marriage. She was so excited to start their life together. They finally moved in together at the beginning of this year, bought a house, and deployed together over the summer. This was her second deployment to Iraq, his third.

I knew I needed to go home for the funeral but I had no idea when it would be. So I decided to go visit Amy A. anyways and just fly out from Nashville after the arrangements had been made. I needed to get away and luckily Katie and Sierra were able to join us. It was great catching up. We only got to spend about a day and a half together but I was happy to see how much Sierra has grown and Katie in the mommy of a toddler mode. Of course every time Katie chased Sierra, I would look at Amy, giggle, and ask...can we really do this? It was just what I needed to get my mind off of things for a little bit.

Then I headed home for the funeral. It was weird. There were all these people I recognized from high school but I didn't know their names. It was amazing how many people showed up for calling hours. I waited for about an hour and a half but some people waited up to 3 hours. Her old roommate from Germany was there and a few friends from Fort Lewis. Unfortunately most of her friends and her husband's support were still in Iraq. It was really tough to watch her husband. He has no relationship with his family so she was his only family.

A lot of people honored her memory during the funeral service. There were people holding flags through some of the small towns we drove through and fire trucks with ladders and flags raised. Our local newspaper announced the night before that the Kansas "church" that demonstrates at soldier's funerals would be in attendance for the funeral. I really thank God that they either didn't show up or there were so many supporters that we didn't even notice them there. I was able to catch up with some old friends and remember all the ways Amy S. affected our lives. Everyone kept joking about how mad she would be that we were all making such a big fuss over her. Please keep her family and especially her husband in your prayers.

After my brief trip home, I spent an additional day with Amy A. before returning to my hubby and pups. She even cooked me a wonderful meal and some really great tasting muffins. So now I'm back in GA, trying to get things back to normal. We're preparing for Thanksgiving at our house.

Rest in peace Amy Seyboth Tirador. We love you and miss you!

can't sleep

2009-10-27T22:44:00.001-07:00

It's 0144 and I can't sleep. Hubby's been having trouble sleeping lately because apparently I snore really loudly. We'll go to sleep together but about 50% of the time he'll move to the guest room in the middle of the night. This has only been happening since we moved to GA and our guest room is conveniently located next to our bedroom. I, however, rarely have trouble falling alseep or staying asleep. But tonight, we went to sleep at 2230 and I woke up at midnight and have been up ever since. Hubby moved to the guest room after half an hour of listening to the dogs lick themselves.

When I do end up waking up in the middle of the night, my mind starts racing. Tonight, it was about our impending move. This is probably spurred on by the overseas brief I'm attending in about 6 hours. I e-mailed an old OIC of mine who moved to Hawaii last year to see what the word was on a job. He pretty much told me I have no chance of working on post. So now I have to get a new license and hope there are job opportunities off post. But still at about midnight I realized I had to submit my resume to CPOL immediately (to the non-existent job, mind you). I also realized my submission to the hospital here had expired a month ago and I had to renew that as well (also to a non-existent job). So here I am. Those things took me about 5 minutes to complete.

I almost completed my first pair of pajama pants in class today. We didn't have enough time. Unfortunately, today was the last class. But she's letting us sneak into her other classes this week to finish them up. So hopefully they'll be complete by Thursday. I'll have a week off and then I start class #2. Skirt, trouser or fitted shirt...what should I choose? I think for this class we only have time for 1 project.

Today I had lunch with a girl I first met when we got to Texas in 2006. We never quite hit it off and we ended up going our separate ways the rest of the time there. We had some mutual friends but we never hung out. I heard through the grapevine that she was bored so I figured I'd give her a call. We ended up eating for 30 mins and talking for about 3 hours. It was great! We talked about everything...and I really mean everything. Now usually in these situations, I tend to get myself in some trouble. Sometimes I put my foot in my mouth but most of the time I just say too much. I realize more and more each day that I'm way too open with strangers. Within 5 mins of meeting me you've probably learned my life story and when I get my period. I hear myself saying things that are not appropriate when you first meet a person but I can't stop myself (even though the little voice in my head is begging me to stop). So I end up overwhelming people and driving them away. That's part of the reason I can't make friends. Surprisingly, today I did the same thing but she was open to it and we had some really good conversation. The crappy part is that she lives about 30 mins away. But I'm hoping we'll still get to hang out every once in a while.

I've made quite a few friends here but not really anyone who I can call up at anytime to hang out with. I can't really complain. My time is occupied and I've met some really great people. Alright, I better try to get some sleep. I don't know how I'm going to make it through 3 hours of an overseas brief....

babysitting and more!

2009-10-18T14:35:00.000-07:00

I haven't done a lot of babysitting since I left home. I think because I don't have any kids people just don't think I like them or I'm not good with them or something. Either way it doesn't really hurt my feelings. Babies are fun to play with when mom or dad are around because when they get cranky, you can just give them back. But I'm not opposed to watching someone's child for a few hours. Just like I don't love dogsitting but I do it because I know people need someone they're comfortable with to keep their dogs. It's probably a bonus that I do both of these things for free.

This weekend I am babysitting. Dad just deployed and mom has a reserve weekend. Luckily the training is relatively close by so she opted with dropping him off in the morning (6 AM) and picking him up in the evening (8-9 PM) instead of having us keep him overnight. Although that probably wouldn't have been a problem seeing that he went to bed right away, didn't get a bath and saved his poop for me for the next morning anyways. Really I was hoping if I fed him rice cereal at 7 PM he would have pooped it back out before 6 AM. Honestly, I haven't changed a poopie diaper in about 4 years. Anytime I've watched babies in the last few years, they've only peed during my shift. I almost threw up! I can pick up dog poop without flinching but for some reason the first poopie diaper just really got me! The 4 since then haven't been a pleasure but it's tolerable now.

After the first day, Tim was like "why is he eating all the time?" But then by the second day he was convinced I was feeding him way too much. Apparently 8 month olds should only eat 3 times a day like we do. I had to explain to him that all the bottles, cereal, baby food and snacks mom packed were for one day, not for the week. You also have to keep in mind that this is an 8 month old that wears 12 month old clothing.

I was unsuccessful at keeping him on his nap schedule but he finally drifted off to the sounds of Halo. In a few hours I will have survived the weekend with no major mishaps and only one melt down (by the baby, not me). This weekend I learned that I love pack n' plays and my dogs are actually pretty good with the baby. They get a little scared when he cries and acts like he's going to punch them through the netting of the pack n' play but other than that it's been a pretty good weekend.

I also started my sewing classes 2 weeks ago. The first lesson consisted of a field trip to JoAnn's Fabric so our instructor could tell us what to buy and what the difference between all the fabrics are. The second week, we were supposed to start sewing a tote bag but we took too much time learning to thread our machines and sew a straight line. So this week we should be starting and completing the tote bags and starting on pajama pants. I know most people think I'm a dork but I'm really excited about learning how to sew.

On Friday, I visited my friend who was babysitting in Atlanta. She makes purses, ornaments, diaper bags, changing pads, and pretty much anything you can sew. The kids were at school for the day so she gave me a little workshop in sewing. I made a baby taggie. They seem pretty simple to make and in the end they were pretty simple but while I was sewing it, I definitely struggled. I'm hoping she can teach me a few simple projects before they PCS but they live in Augusta so we'll have to see if that's going to work out. Sadly she practically lived across the street from me when we were at Hood but we never made the time to get together. I also didn't know how talented she was until the past year. I knew she was talented but I had no idea she had gone to national competitions for designing and sewing when she was in high school.

Well this post seems long enough. Better get some food ready for when the baby wakes up...

hobbies...

2009-09-21T12:51:00.000-07:00

I've had a lot of hobbies in my life. I'm easily interested in things but I have a really hard time following through. I used to love music. I still do, but not like I used to. I keep telling myself I'm going to get back to playing the piano, violin and guitar. I've also always wanted to take voice lessons but I've never gotten around to it. Now we lug around a key board, a violin and 2 guitars to every place we move. I also took ice skating, ballet, tap, and gymnastics growing up. I revisted ice skating and ballet a little in college so of course I had to get the stuff that goes along with it.

I had a period in middle school and high school where I got into tennis and bowling. That was mostly from tagging along with my brother and his friends. So I acquired a tennis racquet. I didn't get the bowling shoes until college when we started going every week. Of course, as soon as I bought shoes we stopped going. I started up with golf in high school. My brother and I usually shared a set of clubs. I got my own clubs when we were in Colorado.

College brought on the rollerblades, skiis, hockey stick, racquet ball and my collection of Bibles. Then I got married and thought I must have a sewing machine. I've had that sewing machine for 4 years now and the only time it was used was when I was somehow able to make garters for our squadron ladies. Most of that credit goes to my husband who was the one who kind of figured out how the darned thing works. I also started my collection of scrapbooking stuff.

When I got to Texas, we added stamping accessories that are still in their original packaging. Then came the dogs and all the dog stuff. We did dog training, I wanted to start dog agility but all the clubs were too far away. All the while I have my expanding collection of cookbooks, none of which I had ever used until now. I also decided I wanted to be a photographer. I convinced myself it was worth it to buy a DSLR because eventually we'd have kids and I'd want to take pictures of them. 3 years later, no kids...and hardly any pictures. Sadly 3 new models have come and gone since I bought my camera. I also bought a mountain bike after we moved far away from the mountains and found out I'm too chicken to go mountain biking!

Now my thing is fitness. So we got the workout DVDs, the adjustable dumbbells, balance ball, 3 yoga mats, stretch bands, and so on and so forth. I'm also into cooking. Good thing I already have my pots, pans and cookbooks. We have our boogie boards ready for Hawaii (we bought them during our vacation there). We've already discussed surfing and kayaking.

So what is my point? We have too much stuff!!! We can't continue these army moves accumulating all this stuff everywhere we go. Of course the worse part is, it's all my stuff! I refuse to get rid of any of it, so the only thing that's left is to actually use some of it.

I need to make a list of goals I plan on accomplishing in the next 6 months before our next move. I've already started the goals of getting in shape and learning how to cook. I'd love to learn how to use my camera before we get to Hawaii so I can actually take pictures as soon as I get there (while resisting the urge to purchase photoshop). I found a sewing class at a local college where I can get the basics down. I'd love to make at least one scrapbook. We've actually been using our mountain bikes, sadly we've been using them as road bikes. I do still enjoy an occasional game of golf. We'll start with that. I'm starting to both bore myself and exhaust myself while typing this entry.

Making lists

2009-09-15T06:29:00.000-07:00

I find that if I don't make lists or schedules for myself, I will get absolutely nothing accomplished. Now I'm not saying that I get everything on the list accomplished but I usually get at least 75% of the tasks done. The other 25% is usually sacrificed when I log onto facebook or start blogging! I made my "to do" list on Sunday and for some reason this week seems very daunting. Perhaps it's because I didn't have a list last week so everything I was supposed to do was never done.

I haven't been able to get myself to go to the gym after all the muscle pain this weekend. I got the hubby P90X for his birthday so he forced me to do that last night. All I wanted was to eat cheesecake! I was really not in the mood to exercise so he chose the yoga one so it wouldn't be as strenuous. I'm not a good yoga person...I giggle a lot and distract other people. P90X yoga is no joke. We were both sweating when the sessions was over. Me, not as much because I didn't push myself ...I don't like it when my muscles shake! I don't want to feel the burn! AND I still ate my cheesecake when I finished my session. I refused the turkey deli meat my husband offered me in exchange. Seriously? Turkey vs cheescake....is that even a choice?

I wanted to go to a fitness class today but somehow I forgot to include it on my to do list. Oh wait, I did write "work out." Shoot, well we'll see. I already missed the good class of the day...

I'm getting old...

2009-09-13T12:32:00.000-07:00

All my muscles hurt! In particular, my legs but my arms aren't feelin' too great either. I skipped out on the gym for a week...the longest time I've not worked out since I got back "home." So on Friday, I decided to do 3 fitness classes. First off, I ate breakfast right before I left for the gym. Less than an hour later, that breakfast and I re-visited each other. It was bad...I was nauseated for the whole class and eventually my stomach decided it was not going to take the abuse any longer! I felt better after my bathroom break so I continued on with the other classes. I tried to throw a 2 mile run into the mix but I knew my limitations.

On Saturday I decided to add some more aches and pains to my already sore muscles with a 7-8 mile bike ride. It was supposed to be an easy bike ride since it was on a paved trail through the woods but I'm too chicken to go down hills so I road the brakes all the way down. I'm also afraid of curves so I had to almost come to a stop to round bends. Then I'm not fit enough to make it back up the hills. Unfortunately my mountain bike will never meet a mountain side.

I can't believe my other half turned 30 this week. I knew it was coming up since a certain friend of mine has already hit 30 this year...but it just brings it that much closer to me. It's just a number, not a big deal...but for some reason in my head it kind of is.

I made a new friend last week. We met at a wives get together thing. We both seem to be talkers so this should be interesting. We're going to get together this week so wish me luck. I've had people ask me how people could not like me...I don't know... maybe you should ask the thousands of woman on this post that don't! Sometimes I feel like maybe I should tone myself down a little bit. Maybe seem a little less eager to make friends. But then I figure, eventually they'll have to meet the real me and if they can't handle it...I'd rather know now.

This weekend...

2009-09-03T18:12:00.000-07:00

It's a long weekend! It's weird because every day is the same for me. Weekends don't really mean anything to me anymore. Usually we're stuck at home with the hubby doing homework and I'm doing whatever I normally do. But last weekend we ventured out to Atlanta. We saw Alton Brown at a live Good Eats show and had a great dinner at a Chinese restaurant. One that actually serves more authentic food. Sure the menu was in Chinese and we were chancing it when my husband randomly pointed at something and said "I have no idea what that is but we'll take it." It turned out to be a delightful 5 course meal with soup, chicken, fish, vegetables, and dessert.

This weekend we're going to bring the dogs to a special Atlanta Braves game. It's "Bark in the Park" an annual fundraiser for shelters. We're staying at a dog friendly hotel where we'll be within 2 miles of a dog park. We might check out a hot air balloon festival on Saturday. I'd love to ride in one but I don't know how the tickets work for that.

On Tuesday, the hubby officially turns old...I mean 30. His parents sent us a wonderful package with some of his favorite foods to make sushi with. Yup, they next day mailed fish to us. So there's a lot going on in the next few days but first tomorrow will be decontamination day. Having 4 dogs in the house for a week kinda makes the house smell like a kennel. Time to get rid of that and any leftover traces of poo...

this course sucks!

2009-08-22T17:43:00.001-07:00

So the CCC is killing us! One of the wives and I were discussing how short-tempered it makes our husbands. The annoying part is that it's just this one instructor so apparently everyone else gets out early and gets lunch breaks meanwhile our husbands come home, bite our heads off and lock themselves in their offices to do homework until about midnight (on a good night). Then on the weekend, my husband sleeps all day to make up for not sleeping all week. Fun times. Apparently they switch instructors halfway through. I just remember before getting here all the other guys telling us this course was a piece of cake. This is the nastiest piece of cake I've ever eaten!

yup, still not good at blogging...

2009-08-04T05:32:00.000-07:00

Since my last post, I went to Columbia, SC to visit with Ellen and Keri. The trip was way too short but I'm glad I got to spend almost a day with each of them. I probably hadn't seen Bella in over a year and she has grown a lot since then. I still can't really understand the baby babble but I can pick out some words and sometimes string up a sentence from them. I also got to meet the infamous Miss Skylar. She's awfully cute but a little cranky on the day I chose to see her. Stubborn as a mule! In the last few months I've gotten to see a lot of different friends interact with their kids. From my best friend since high school, to college friends and then army friends...it's interesting to watch.

Since my trip to Columbia, not much has happened. I tried unsuccessfully to get a volunteer position at the pharmacy. I have made no progress in my attempts to be a housekeeper or cook. I skipped the gym yesterday which brings me dangerously close to the downward spiral of never going again. My dogs are as unruly as ever and class seems to keep my husband forever on edge. Fun times!

I was hoping to go on a trip to Vegas with some of my childhood friends but then I realized as an unemployed army wife, that's really not feasible at this time. My nephews were supposed to come visit us next week but the plane tickets are too expensive. So the next thing I have to look forward to is the army spouse orientation. I know, sounds exciting...don't be jealous. I also lost my workout partner last week because her husband came home from NTC. I probably won't see her again until he deploys in a few months.

But I am determined not to get into a funk. There are tons of things that need to be done, I just don't want to do them. Somehow I need to just get it together and soon!

new post...new life...

2009-07-20T07:20:00.000-07:00

All my friends have switched from xanga to blogspot and I refused to make the switch. Every few years I end up with a new website because everyone has found the new fad and every time I tell them I won't switch....but I always do. I'm such a follower...

So here I am in Georgia. We got here about 6 weeks ago, 4 of which I spent in Albany visiting family while Tim was left behind to unpack. Every time we move I get really excited about what lies ahead. What will I experience? Who will I meet? But then we get settled in and I realize what I left behind. Good friends, a steady job, a life I had built for myself. Then I have to start all over again. People always ask me how I do it. I don't know, I just do.

So begins my pity party. A party I have to throw myself at least once a move. Where I whine about not having any friends and how bored I am and how insane my husband is driving me. I know, I have to give it time. In reality I have only been here for less than 2 weeks and we've already gone to dinner with an old friend and I'm meeting up with a new potential friend at the gym in half an hour. Things already look better in my first 2 weeks here than it did for my first year in Texas.

The hard part for me now is all the free time I have and the expectations it brings. I am not the housekeeper or cook of the year. I just wish some people would understand that and accept my limitations. I am trying though...

Gym time, let's see what kind of pain the step instructor can bring upon me today...